The Ashley and I are going to St. Pete tomorrow to see the Flaming Lips! The Hyundai will be our chariot, the (pause, hot drunk boy calling me...) the forces of nature and physics, our guide. I love road trips, and I also love hotels, but have you heard about the bed bugs lately?? I'm bringing my chemicals and inspecting the place first. Anyway, tomorrow will be fun. In fact, tonight may be fun, too. *wink* Oh, yeahhhh... I'm also doing this thing tomorrow afternoon... This kool thing with the Police Department... and american idol... and food... and children's fingers. I'll be wearing a colored-ladies style hairpiece and my OPD polo shirt. You kno I ain't frontin'. Hope you all enjoyed my update.
I announce this with a fluttering heart and hot, swelling pleasure: Morrissey, blessed be His name, is gracing us with His presence with four tour dates in Florida! This is according to True-to-you.net and Pitchforkmedia.com. Tickets go on sale March 30th. I have yet to find ticket info for the July 12th and 14th shows in Clearwater and Boca Raton. Ticketmaster does, however, list info for the 15th and 17th shows in Orlando and Jacksonville. I will be attending all four shows. Though His last albums aren't quite the same... flavour... I'm here to tell you, The Moz puts on one heck of a show! His voice is still like buttah! And of course, He still has His sense of humor. And if we're lucky, He will tempt us with flashes of skin as He prances off stage to change shirts (five times!) until finally the last shirt comes off on stage and is gently tossed into the hungry audience by that delicate hand of His. I just need to stop now. Seriously.
It was spell-binding, I tell you! The film oozes with genuine raunchiness that will leave you shifting in your seat frequently and with great friction! Samuel L. Jackson was outta sight, and Christina Ricci... in addition to flaunting her lusciously perky orbs and sexxxy ribs (love the ribs!), was delightfully defective, AND reminiscent of Reece Witherspoon in 'Freeway'. I give it two nipples up!
So the new job is going really well. I'm learning all about garage doors! Ah, the many fascinating facets... My day consists of taking a few phone calls, surfing the net (as the kids call it), sending vulgar e-mails to my favorite co-worker, and playing with my post-its and things. The walls are covered with a colorful golf course mural, floor to ceiling. There is a pool table in the middle of the office. It's a classy joint, see. And best of all, they don't care about my "alternative" style. It's fun because I get to wear nice collared shirts and ties, and vests and shiny shoes... Or I can wear a bikini. They don't give a fuck. In fact, I'm at "work" right now... Basically collecting free money. In fact, if I were wearing tattered house slippers and eating chicken wings, you could call it welfare.
"The evolution of the universe can be likened to a display of fireworks that has just ended: some few wisps, ashes and smoke. Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds." -Georges Lemaitre
Keep your eyes peeled, folks. Fatal Fetish has something groovy coming up just for you (come on out, and bring your sweet tooth)! More details will be yours soon.
The Citizens Police Academy is getting pretty heavy. We've been allowed the seductive goodness of slide shows featuring battered victims sliced like birthday cake and iced with blood, and some really neat videos of people actin' a fool. The illustrious Officer Smith is treating us to a visit to the Medical Examiner's office so we can gawk at dead people. OOh, and I can't wait to ride along with a real OPD officer! I highly recommend the Citizens Police Academy to anyone who chooses bagels and tea over donuts and coffee.
Mad "props" to Starbucks on Orange Ave. for making me feel so good in all my soft spots today (and for treating me to D-Mode and N-Order)! Two of my soft spots have been pumped full of ink. Now they are pretty.
Tonight marks the end of an absolutely charming week. Some of my acquaintances, friends, and lovers out there know all about my fascination (and admittedly, my "fetish") with law enforcement. Well, watch out you filthy animals- I'm an official member of the Citizens Police Academy! My first class was Tuesday evening. It was very productive. I took three pages of notes and treated myself to a wild cherry pepsi. It's going to be lots of fun, you see. The participating officers are warm and funny, and my classmates are just as bloodthirsty as I am!! Speaking of fetishes, I went out to the Castle Friday with my fellow Fatal Fetish vixens and whooped up on some folks. It was my first night playing the dominant role. Gee, it's rewarding to be a mean cunt from time to time! I only worked three days this week, which is a rare treat. I spent last night cleaning and meticulously organizing my possessions. Everything is exactly where I want it, finally. I even found some time to work on a short story I started a couple months ago and take some bitchin' photos! In addition to all that excitement, I've been spending some good old quality time with my shiny new boyfriend (complete with that new boyfriend smell)! He is most appealing and highly cultured. He excites me extensively. We will be out at "Sunday Night Vinyl To Go" 2nite for your viewing pleasure.